From the files of . . .

it sounds more offensive than it is. I've repeated this story so many times recently for whatever reason that I figured I had better write it down. Don't think I'm horrible and don't take offense - you'll see. . .

I was outside one day when a man walked by with his dog. He stopped and introduced himself as a new neighbor. (Our neighborhood is two streets that form a P-shape. We're on the loop of the P and he moved on the straight part where we didn't know many people.) I shook his hand and asked which house was his. He rattled off the number (which was meaningless to me) and then said, "I bought the house from the fags. Did you know them?"

Could he be offensive if he tried? I was truly speechless.

You see, Tom and George live down that part of the street. Two very nice guys I had met several times but rarely saw day-to-day. They did great holiday decorations though! They had been in the neighborhood a long time and were well known and liked. Anyway I think I replied yes rather dumbfoundedly (is that a word?) when he prattled on, "Oh yeah, the fags were great about all the closing hassles on the house. "

I swear I didn't know what to do or say. Lord knows I've met my share of prejudiced folks, but this was a perfect stanger and he was being so incredibly . . . blunt! And it went on and on!! "So the fags told us this was a quiet neighborhood" and "The fags were sad to leave." I simply couldn't believe my ears. After a few minutes he continued on his merry way and I came in and told Dean the whole story. I pulled out the neighborhood phone directory to see where on the street his number was when it suddenly all become clear.

Tom and George hadn't moved at all. But Joe and Ethel had.

Joe and Ethel Fagg. I laughed so hard that I swear I almost fell over! My life had suddenly become a bizarre 'Saturday Night Live' sketch! Then it also hit me, I should probably warn this guy! He's trotting all over the neighborhood introducing himself this way and he has no idea that a gay couple lives just doors away!

Sad to say I never remembered his name - or maybe I was too mentally shaken and simply blocked it out - and never said anything to him. There's been a lot of movement on that end of the street and this guy may not even live there anymore. I'm sure once he met Tom and George at the next block party he was too embarassed to show his face around the neighborhood anymore.

It does still make me laugh thinking about it though.